Mr. Locario's Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice: Ladies stop complaining about guys staring at you
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Some women love when a guy is checking them out. Others might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when a guy is staring at their breast, their ass or any other body part. There are also some women who get offended by this behavior.
There are studies that say men will spend almost a year of their life staring at women. The average man will spend almost 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women. Men are very visual and look at women not only because they find the female body beautiful but because there are also biological reasons why they stare like looking to see if he is attracted to you in order for him to see if he sees you as someone he would want to mate with to keep this human race thing going. I have heard some women who complain that a man would be with his girlfriend or wife and would still stare at another woman. They feel that it is disrespectful to stare and don’t understand why they would have to stare at another woman if they are already with their woman. The reason some men might do this is because monogamy is a social construct. So the act of being faithful to ones spouse is unrelated to the biological need to procreate.
Most men will stare at a woman because he is admiring her body because he thinks it’s beautiful. If something is beautiful you are going to want to look at it. If something really intrigues you and catches your eye you are going to want to stare for a while. Some women bodies are like a beautiful sunset, but some women will get upset or feel uneasy if you stare. My question is why would someone admiring something beautiful about you upset you?
I had a conversation with some women the other day about this topic. One woman said that she doesn’t like when guys stare at her because she wants a guy to like her for her personality. What I told her is that when a guy is walking down the street he can’t see your personality. All he can see is how you look. If he likes what he sees he is going to stare. She also proceeded to tell me that men make her feel uncomfortable when they stare at her. I told her that she is making herself feel uncomfortable and it isn’t the men that are making her feel that way.
She didn’t understand what I was talking about and didn’t agree with me until we got on the train and I showed her exactly what I was talking about. While we were in the subway we were waiting on the platform for a train. The train took about 15 minutes to pull into the station. We were talking for about 5 minutes and the whole time we were talking she was staring strait at me. I noticed a guy on the side of us checking her out the whole time we were talking. We kept talking for another 5 minutes and then I stopped her in the middle of a sentence and said “Are you uncomfortable right now” she replied “No why” I said “look to your right.”
She looked and saw they guy that was staring at her and caught eye contact with him for a second and then looked back at me. She looked at him again and then she started to feel uncomfortable. She looked at me and said “why is this guy keep staring at me. He is making me uncomfortable.” I again told her “it’s not him its you.” I explained to her and said “This guy has been staring at you for 10 minutes and you were fine when you didn’t even realize he was staring at you. Then all of a sudden when you noticed then you were uncomfortable. So who is really making you uncomfortable?”
Women need to get used to the fact that men are going to stare. There is no stopping it. It’s going to happen you can’t control what men stare at. If a man isn’t being disrespectful to you by invading your space or trying to make you feel bad by calling you names when you pass then don’t stress it. Take it as a compliment. I could understand if you started complaining if no men were staring at you. That’s when you might have a problem.
Mr. Locario
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Article "Men spend a year staring at women"
http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online/Entertainment/05-Aug-2009/Men-spend-a-year-staring-at-women
CommentsLoading...
wouldn't u b mad if absolutely no man in the world stared at u labelle
Ok i am not ugly by no means and the man i have now persued me.I caved in and at first he was sweet kind and loving.Then after a year i noticed he breaks his neck to stare at other woman.He even had me walk away from him so he could walk behind a girl he thought had a nice butt.This not only hurt my self esteem but it offened me.Now everywhere we go like out to eat he dont talk to me he tries to stare at the waitress.And he would rather beat his meat in the shower than be with me.And your saying its ok for him to stare ause its what you man folk do.Thats bull men can glance quickly but staring is wrong.I even went as far as to act like him one day and stare at a waiter and i even made comments funny thing he was jealous.So whats your comment on this?
LaBellaStrega 2 years ago
Firstly, this is one of the most poorly written articles I have ever read in my life. Secondly, this is one of the most sexist articles I have ever read in my life. You have managed to essentially spend paragraph after paragraph making the case that men are uncontrollable, drooling idiots who cannot control themselves due to "biological reasons".
Have you ever considered that the reason women feel "uncomfortable" is because the behavior you are describing is threatening? How would you feel if a man were to stare you down? Based on what I can gather from your beliefs about men and manhood, I would venture to guess that you would also see it as a threat and possibly even react in kind.
To assert that women just need to accept threatening behavior from men in public, despite it making them feel unsafe is just wrong.